Karl Rove Brainstorm

Karl sits in his luxury cave in the eastern Appalachian mountains,
in front of his computer, with a blank MS Word document staring him
in the face. Blank, that is, except for one phrase at the top. It
said: "Strategies For Defeating Liberals".

It's been a bad year for Karl's gang of criminals, better known
as the GOP, for whom he serves as political strategist. The
War in Iraq is going horribly. Bush makes an ass out of himself
more and more every day. Republicans in Congress keep getting
caught with their hands in the lobbyist cookie jar. Karl is
just fresh out of ideas. How do you effectively
smear people who have good, common-sense ideas? He used
to be able to do it so well...dammit!! He needs some good
ideas, now! It's already almost September. The mid-term
elections are around the corner.

Think, Rove, think!! Aha! He starts typing..."Say Demorats want
Al-Qaeda to win because of Iraq War opposition". But, wait...
Bush just said a few days ago Iraq wasn't responsible for 9/11,
which it is presumed Al Qaeda was, so how do you connect
anit-war with being for Al-Qae...Wait! Karl corrects himself...
he just caught himself thinking logically. Logic!

"I can't be thinking like that if I'm going to do this right!"

Okay, second point. "Link being pro-choice with wanting to
kill babies and drink their blood". Brilliant. Santorum will love
this one. Hmmm. How about..."Universal health care will
lead to mass outbreaks of disease...". Karl keeps typing
whatever comes into his head: "Ebola outbreaks...lines
at hospitals...doctors will flee country...no, wait...doctors
commit mass suicide...America=Soviet Union...".

Karl suddenly remembers he has to write up some ideas
and talking points for George Allen's Senate campaign in
Virginia. He comes up with some good ones..."need to
reintroduce segregation...try not to use word 'macaca'...
need find gentle way to make people support concentration
camps for blacks latinos muslims etc...)

He keeps happily tapping away at his computer, confident
he's gotten his groove back.